(I wrote this a year or two ago when I obviously felt a bit over-crowded. ;) )
By the world’s standard, I get stranger by the day. And quite frankly, I can’t argue with that. For whatever reason, I crave alone time. The older I become, the greater the craving. As much as I love others, people and circumstances tend to crowd me at times. The only way I know to explain it is to compare the feeling to a light case of claustrophobia. I say light, but honestly, there are times when it is a heavy case, like being on vacation with ten family members, two dogs, and only one bathroom. Ha! Thankfully, we survived. ;)
The need for isolation causes me to shrink inside myself, to block out everything around me. It becomes, in a way, a mental escape from reality. Where most of the world’s population may be social butterflies, purposely seeking out the next gathering or shindig, I try to find any excuse I can to stay inside my cocoon. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go home to let the dog out,” which is true, but … Or, “I really need to wash clothes and the kids haven’t quite finished their school work.” Again, all true, but I tend to put more weight on their importance than is probably necessary.
When my surroundings are blocked out, I finally find that breath I’ve been holding. I’m at peace. Whether the solitary escape is for a moment or several hours, it does something for me. It rejuvenates my ability to cope with life’s events. It refreshes my mind, much like my favorite restaurant's Coca-Cola does for my alertness in the mornings. And it brings about a calmness that was on the edge of disappearing only seconds before. Yes, it would be nice to have that rejuvenation, refreshment, and calmness all the time, but I live in a world filled with people and circumstances. I love my family and friends. I love my life and am extremely grateful for it. So, even if I was given a choice of two doors today, one opening to loved ones and hectic routines and one opening only to a vast field of daisies, I would repeatedly choose the claustrophobic entryway.
By the world’s standard, God is either the One, True, Living, Holy Creator who is omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent or just a name to swear by. It is a sad truth that on this side of Heaven there are those who follow and worship God and there are those who ignore and despise Him. As much as I would love to see the whole of Earth’s population following God, I won’t. And as much as I want to see myself and everyone around me putting down her piles of laundry or setting aside his honey-do list so that worshipping God is all we do, I don’t. My eyes and ears are bombarded with the things of this world. I find it difficult to be still and know He is God in the midst of the busy chaos.
My mind and heart are flooded with life issues, health issues, my next trip home to see family, or the dog’s recent vet bill. The alone time my physical body craves seems louder at times than the quiet time my spiritual body needs. And what a shame that is. If my isolation with God was truly isolated from the never-ending, mind-churning, I would experience more rest, more peace than I could ever imagine.
You know that feeling you get at church, in the middle of an awe-inspiring, worshipful song? You know the moment. It’s as if everything around you has evaporated and it’s just you and the words of praise directed to Him. That feeling hit me today when I was listening to a particular song on the radio, alone in my car. For just a moment, a precious moment, all the junk and emotions I was dealing with disappeared. They were completely blocked off. A waterfall of peace washed over me and I realized that I was getting a glimpse of what Heaven must be like.
When we meet our Lord, face-to-face, there will be no distractions, no unrest. We will be rejuvenated, refreshed, and calm with no need to ever feel otherwise. No caffeine needed. No mental escape required. It will not last a moment or even a few hours. It will be for an eternity. I imagine us comfortably packed in like sardines, all so we can worship, truly and beautifully worship Him. The definition of claustrophobia will change from Oh, dear! Too many people! to Oh, wow! So many people! And, if given a choice of two doors then, one opening only to a vast field of daisies and one opening to a sea of other believers, singing in unison of how mighty God is, I would repeatedly choose the claustrophobic entryway.
I look forward to the day my craving for alone time will be left right here, in my chair, in the corner of my room. So thankful Heaven is not about me and my strangeness, but about God and His Holiness.
Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
~Psalm 105:2-3
Thanks for stopping by. ;)
By the world’s standard, I get stranger by the day. And quite frankly, I can’t argue with that. For whatever reason, I crave alone time. The older I become, the greater the craving. As much as I love others, people and circumstances tend to crowd me at times. The only way I know to explain it is to compare the feeling to a light case of claustrophobia. I say light, but honestly, there are times when it is a heavy case, like being on vacation with ten family members, two dogs, and only one bathroom. Ha! Thankfully, we survived. ;)
The need for isolation causes me to shrink inside myself, to block out everything around me. It becomes, in a way, a mental escape from reality. Where most of the world’s population may be social butterflies, purposely seeking out the next gathering or shindig, I try to find any excuse I can to stay inside my cocoon. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go home to let the dog out,” which is true, but … Or, “I really need to wash clothes and the kids haven’t quite finished their school work.” Again, all true, but I tend to put more weight on their importance than is probably necessary.
When my surroundings are blocked out, I finally find that breath I’ve been holding. I’m at peace. Whether the solitary escape is for a moment or several hours, it does something for me. It rejuvenates my ability to cope with life’s events. It refreshes my mind, much like my favorite restaurant's Coca-Cola does for my alertness in the mornings. And it brings about a calmness that was on the edge of disappearing only seconds before. Yes, it would be nice to have that rejuvenation, refreshment, and calmness all the time, but I live in a world filled with people and circumstances. I love my family and friends. I love my life and am extremely grateful for it. So, even if I was given a choice of two doors today, one opening to loved ones and hectic routines and one opening only to a vast field of daisies, I would repeatedly choose the claustrophobic entryway.
By the world’s standard, God is either the One, True, Living, Holy Creator who is omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent or just a name to swear by. It is a sad truth that on this side of Heaven there are those who follow and worship God and there are those who ignore and despise Him. As much as I would love to see the whole of Earth’s population following God, I won’t. And as much as I want to see myself and everyone around me putting down her piles of laundry or setting aside his honey-do list so that worshipping God is all we do, I don’t. My eyes and ears are bombarded with the things of this world. I find it difficult to be still and know He is God in the midst of the busy chaos.
My mind and heart are flooded with life issues, health issues, my next trip home to see family, or the dog’s recent vet bill. The alone time my physical body craves seems louder at times than the quiet time my spiritual body needs. And what a shame that is. If my isolation with God was truly isolated from the never-ending, mind-churning, I would experience more rest, more peace than I could ever imagine.
You know that feeling you get at church, in the middle of an awe-inspiring, worshipful song? You know the moment. It’s as if everything around you has evaporated and it’s just you and the words of praise directed to Him. That feeling hit me today when I was listening to a particular song on the radio, alone in my car. For just a moment, a precious moment, all the junk and emotions I was dealing with disappeared. They were completely blocked off. A waterfall of peace washed over me and I realized that I was getting a glimpse of what Heaven must be like.
When we meet our Lord, face-to-face, there will be no distractions, no unrest. We will be rejuvenated, refreshed, and calm with no need to ever feel otherwise. No caffeine needed. No mental escape required. It will not last a moment or even a few hours. It will be for an eternity. I imagine us comfortably packed in like sardines, all so we can worship, truly and beautifully worship Him. The definition of claustrophobia will change from Oh, dear! Too many people! to Oh, wow! So many people! And, if given a choice of two doors then, one opening only to a vast field of daisies and one opening to a sea of other believers, singing in unison of how mighty God is, I would repeatedly choose the claustrophobic entryway.
I look forward to the day my craving for alone time will be left right here, in my chair, in the corner of my room. So thankful Heaven is not about me and my strangeness, but about God and His Holiness.
Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
~Psalm 105:2-3
Thanks for stopping by. ;)